In a nutshell, we are most effective when we focus on being a resonant leader.
But why is it…we often “leave work” feeling like anything but an effective leader? Why do we get derailed by the resistance, frustration, and confusion of those we serve?
How can a mission we are so passionate about leave us feeling so defeated and depleted?
Answers to these questions are complex because, well…humans and human interactions (even virtual ones) are complex. And let’s be honest, sometimes they are not only complex, they are challenging!
The solutions, however, don’t have to be so complex.
Borrowing from attachment science and the work of Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, and Dr. Stuart Shanker, we can use the framework of the 4 S’s and the idea of being a stress detective to help us navigate challenges.
To essentially “see the adult behind the behavior“…to reframe misbehavior (resistance, rigidity, reactivity) as stress behavior.
The 4 S’s keep our focus on a primary goal all leaders have and that’s recognizing and reducing stressors (aka playing a stress detective).
Effective leaders create a “safe harbor” for others so they can in turn, can manage energy and tensions (aka self-regulate).
The 4 S’s include:
- Feeling safe
- Feeling seen (Part 2)
- Feeling soothed
- Having secure attachments where self-regulation skills are put into action
Over time I’ll be sharing audio recordings that define each of the 4 S’s, from a leadership perspective, along with solutions.
We start with creating a safe harbor….
Listen and learn how you can create a “safe harbor” for the staff you serve! Click here for the transcript.
Download “You Are The Key” for strategies to help others feel SAFE [pdf]
Download the 4 S’s Infographics for leaders [pdf]